It’s been revealed by SPIT’s source in Downing Street (the cat, Larry) that the government, and May herself knew of a misfired missile. The British public has greeted the news with the characteristic lack of surprise, and a mixture of contempt, pity and a little bit of sadistic pleasure. May herself has decided not to comment, and is said to be desperately searching Islington for Corbyn in order to point the finger at him in some capacity. All efforts have been in vain thus far, he truly is the Vanishing Man.

Political reception to the misfire has been varied. Nigel Farage is said to have laughed when he heard, and then to have stated, “Perfect, I hope that scared the EU, lets aim the next one for Brussels”. This in turn prompted Trump to tweet that the US would soon be firing missiles into the air  in order to prove themselves the “smartestest”.

Ex-Prime Minister, Tony Blair is said to have sent May a handwritten letter, expressing sympathy and comparing the accidental missile launch to his own military misfire in Iraq  2003. The document is said to end with, “Theresa, we all make mistakes. If you think yours is bad, I once convinced the whole of parliament that Iraq had WMD and destabilised the entire region! Don’t lose any sleep over it, I don’t.”


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