Today, archaeologists discovered the unimaginable. In northern Bethlehem, Christian Cross had made complaints of a dull thudding noise underneath his pie shop, Christian’s Pies. The Bethlehem Archaeologist Association (BAA) refused to dig on the site due to sponsorship issues, so a team of students at the city’s university decided to raise funds themselves by packing people’s shopping at the Sainsbury’s on the street where Jesus is believed to have been born – now named Circus Street. After raising the funds, the team set about excavating the shop floor and soon uncovered an enormous statue. Initially,
historians identified the statue to be of Pharaoh Ramses ll, however, the Christian thought it looked remarkably similar to UKIP member, Paul Nuttall. We have been informed that the resemblance is uncanny and has sparked a debate on whether the ancient world predicted the rise and fall of Paul Nuttall, and perhaps even worshipped him. SPIT have since emailed the UKIP man but we are yet to receive a response. Come on Paul!