SPIT has received exclusive reports that Dianne Abbott is under investigation by the UK Fraud Office after suspicions have grown over her ability to count. The errors she has made over the past week have sparked claims that she did not pass GCSE mathematics. Abbott’s year 11 maths teacher told us she was ‘hopeless’ at the subject, recalling that she achieved a lowly F. The Fraud Office have asked Abbott, who claims she scored 100%, to send her AQA certificate to them to back up her claims, but fear she may not be able to understand their address of, 101 Argyle Street, as she may not know that numbers go beyond 100. More news to come…


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